May 22

I woke up hoping this May 22 would be different than the past four May 22nd dates on the calendar but it wasn't. Today hurt. My whole body hurt. Because when your heart breaks, your whole self aches.

My Mom has been gone four years now. The same amount of time it took me to get through college. I thought maybe with four years behind me, her death would feel like less of a trauma and more of a part of my story. But that hasn't happened yet. 

I don't hurt like this every day. But on May 22, like an annual gravitational pull, everything just feels heavier. 

Tomorrow will be a fresh start. And maybe over the next year, all of this ache will weave into my story a little more and the calendar will pull me down a little less. I'm hopeful. I'm always hopeful.

Love,
a daughter who misses her Mom